HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
