We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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