This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
