I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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