I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
