he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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