She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
