haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
