You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How does one acquire holy water?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
