I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
