It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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