I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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