covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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