Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
