Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
