the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
