This girl is more easily done than said...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
