Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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