also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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