i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
