The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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