I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
