The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
