my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
