omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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