Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
