Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
