It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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