I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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