Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So. Much. Porn.
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