i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
