Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
