She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I AM VODKA MAN
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
