They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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