I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
