i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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