Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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