you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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