RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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