The maid of honor just puked.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
