I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he just fucked me for my cheese.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
