She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
