What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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