Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
