i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
