he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
