I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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