At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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