I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
