his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
