That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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