I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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