that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
