you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
